Rival Battles
by bunnyofawesomeness
Summary: It only takes one thing to ruin White's pokemon journey...


**Too. Many. Rival Battles. in 5th gen. It made me write this piece of stupidity.**

**Disclaimer:I don't own pokemon. Otherwise there would be less rival battles. **

I was simply sleeping peacefully, minding my own business, getting rested for my pokemon journey when _they_ came. Still mostly asleep, I hadn't even opened my eyes when I heard the slightest scraping of my door. I dared to open my eyes to find Bianca not 3 cm from my face.

"Hey White!" She greeted cheerfully, like she wasn't totally breaking into my personal space. Cheren was standing not far behind her in my room, looking abnormally cheery.

"Ummm, Hey" I replied, not sure quite how to react.

"Wanna have a battle?" She chirped.

"We don't have pokemon," was my honest reply. She continued to stare at me as if this idea didn't compute, still with a far-too-happy-for-this-time-of-the-morning smile on her face. I swear it took almost a minute before she finally backed up from my space.

"How silly of me! Don't worry, I have our starter pokemon from the lab right here," she explained while pointing to a briefcase a few feet away from my bed. I could only stare in sleepy confusion.

"You took them from the lab? Are you even allowed to do that?" I said with panic working its way into my voice.

"Don't worry! We should have a battle! It'll clear your head!" she merrily replied. Because obviously battles solve everything. Someone was sleeping in history class. I looked desperately to Cheren for help but he only continued with his creepy out-of-place smile.

"Hurry up and battle her so I can battle you next," was all he said in a voice that was...happy? Since when was Cheren ever happy? I had no time to ponder this as Bianca had already dragged me out of bed and toward the briefcase.

"Wait, I'm still in my pajamas! Can't I change?" I begged, though they pretended not to hear my pleas. Bianca grabbed two pokeballs out of the case and flipped one in my direction which I scrambled to catch.

"I don't even get to choose my pokemon?"

* * *

><p>Finally, I was out of that madhouse. After I had beaten both of them without even healing in between, they scurried away from my now-trashed room like patrats. Jerks. Oh well, at least I didn't have to clean it. Besides, I was finally on my pokemon journey! From my spot on Route 1, I could already see the next town. My poor beaten Oshawott could get some rest. Almost there...<p>

"Hey White!"

You've gotta be kidding me.

"Hey Bianca, great to finally be on the road, right?" I said forcing a smile. Just let me get to the pokemon center...

"We should have a battle," she stated as if it was the obvious conclusion.

"But, we just had one less than an hour ago," I voiced what I thought was a very logical statement. She just kept that joyful smile locked onto her face, showing no understanding of anything I had said.

"We're rivals now. We need to have a rival battle," she replied in a bright tone.

"But if we battle that close together the result would just be the same. I'll just beat you again so you need to wait a bit.."

"Snivy, go!"

"Woah, wait! My pokemon's exhausted!"

"Vine whip!"

"Alright, alright, I'll battle!"

* * *

><p>And so from then on, it seemed I was never alone on my pokemon journey.<p>

In the bathroom:

"Bianca, please! I gotta pee!"

"After a rival battle."

In the store:

"Do you want to get us kicked out, Cheren?"

"We both have gym badges. We must have a rival battle."

Right after other battles:

"Really, Cheren? I just defeated a bunch of Team Plasma goons! Come to think of it, where the heck were you when they were attacking?"

"Waiting here so we could have a rival battle."

Even in the freakin' gym!

"Do you even challenge gyms Bianca? Why are you here?"

"I think I may have improved since when I fought you in the bathroom last night. Let's battle."

* * *

><p>Crap, I needed somewhere to hide, quick! It was only a matter of time. I just set foot in this town and I wouldn't be safe for long. Franticly panicking, I spotted a mass of tea green hair.<p>

"Hide me!" I squealed while hiding behind a startled N.

"From what?"

"_Them."_

"Them._..?"_

"My friends!" I squawked while keeping a watch out for them from behind the safety of N's back. N tried to turn around but I had a vice-grip on his shirt and traveled wherever his back went. With a sigh he gave up looking at me.

"Excuse me if I'm wrong, but don't people generally not hide in terror from their friends?" he questioned.

"You don't understand! There're everywhere! I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even go to the bathroom! If I hear rival battle one more time I'm going to explode like an electrode!" I cried, curling up into a ball on the grass. N, freed from my Scizor-like grip, turned around. He began in an uncertain voice,

"I suppose now would be a bad time to challenge you to a ba..."

"No," I cut him off.

"But I need to test our ideals against each other and..."

"Say battle and you die."

That's it. I'm done. I'm the champion. The thought danced around my mind as I lazed around, content to be back in my own bed. The sad thing is, the initial thrill of being the champion didn't even compare to the relief of no more rival battles. My journey was over. No more surprise battles at every corner when my pokemon are half-dead and I really have to pee. With a sigh, I snuggled deeper in my covers until I heard a slight scrapping of my door.

Ha, that kinda reminds me of when Bianca and Cheren snuck into my room at the beginning of my journey and started the terrible pattern of rival battles. I glance over my covers to see...

No.

No no no.

It's done. It's over. I'm the freakin' champion! There's no way they would be stupid enough to...

"White! Congratulations! We should have a rival battle to celebrate!" cried Bianca already with a hand on her pokeball. Cheren followed close behind, with that we-are-having-a-rival-battle-and-you-can't-object face.

"Guys, you don't understand! It's not supposed to be like this! I won! No more rival battles!" I screamed while desperately stumbling out of bed.

"No, White, it's you who don't understand," replied Cheren with a borderline manic grin. "Now that you've won, we can have rival battles every day, forever." They gave me grins that seemed tainted with evil intentions.

Rival battles forever...

"Screw this! I'm going to Sinnoh!"

**Poor White. Wait till she realizes that there's rival battles in Sinnoh too. You can't ever escape. I know this is a stupid piece of troll, but reviews make me happy, so please review! **


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